The Bakura Sex Education Lesson
by ahpai
Summary: Yugi’s been overhearing naughty, naughty things about the subject of sex that were rather beyond simple biology. Yami Yugi ponders over how to satisfy his host’s curiosity and was surprised to find help from a certain whitehaired albino. Implied YBxR.


**The Bakura Sex Education Lesson**

**By ahpai**

* * *

Note: Yugi refers to Yami as "mou hitori no boku" which means "my other me" and Yami refers to Yugi as "aibou" which means "partner". Yami Bakura sometimes refers to Ryou as "yadonushi", which means "landlord" since Ryou's technically hosting his spirit.

Warning: Strong implications of Bakura/Ryou at the ending. NOT fluff.

* * *

There comes a time when a boy reaches an age where extensive knowledge of the bird and the bees became the most important facts in his life. 

Yami sighed uncharacteristically, refraining from the urge to massage his temples. He knew that it was only natural for his host to be curious over certain... _extra-curricular adult activities_.

No boy would be normal to not be curious at one point.

That said, he had never bargained on just how _innocent_ his host was.

It wasn't that Yami didn't know... _things_. He may not have regained his memories as yet, but there were just _some_ things that a boy _knows_. He was sure that Yugi knew about the whole "when papa loves mama very much..." and all that "how are babies made?" things. The boy did learn Biology after all, bad as his grades were (Yami winced at the thought of the one thing he couldn't help his host with). That much, awkward as the subject is, he could handle. But that was not what his host wanted to know.

The questions had started about a month ago, and steadily built up to the little pounding that Yami was currently suffering in his temples.

-

When Yugi asked him about the existence of various... sexual positions in bed that he overheard the seniors in school talking about, Yami got _very_ uncomfortable.

When Yugi asked what 'bondage' and S&M was all about and why would anyone find any pleasure in pain, Yami felt a sense of impending dread.

When Yugi asked exactly how gay sex was possible, Yami completely flipped.

_Is this how every father feels when his son reached that age?_ The three-thousand year old spirit wondered. Not that any son would ask his father such questions...

After long hours of thought and consideration on how to tackle the questions as Yugi's curiosity was not easily quenched (even more so when he noticed the discomfort it brought to the Yami), Yami resigned to the fact that he just had to ask another for help. Some things were just too awkward for him to handle.

But who?

Yugi's group of friends?

Yami reached for his jacket. Yugi's consciousness was asleep at the moment, and normally Yami would let the boy sleep as his body would need the rest. This was an exception, however. He did not like taking control of his host's body without the boy's knowing, but he could do it if he chose to, just as how the tomb robber often did.

Drastic times called for drastic measures, after all.

-

"You want me to talk to the other Yugi about how gay people make out?!!" Jounouchi cried incredulously. "You serious?!"

"Do I look like I'm laughing, Jounouchi?" Yami replied a little impatiently. "And I wasn't referring to _gay people_ in particular, if you heard me correctly."

"But-But why me?! It-It's not like I'd know about gay people or anything! I'm not gay, if that's what you're thinking!"

Yami blinked at the torrential outburst, but decided not to comment on his friend's apparent homophobia. He shrugged instead, "You're his best friend. I'm sure you'd know the best way to explain things to him..." Being the semi-pervert the blond was, he was sure Jounouchi _knew_. He shuddered inwardly at how close Yugi had once come to having his innocent eyes tainted by certain x-rated videos his friend had once asked him to hide. Ironic how the situation turned out now...

"Well, sure we're best buddies, but-" Jounouchi floundered. "-Yugi's... Yugi's... so..."

"Innocent?" Yami hazarded. He recalled the video incident again and fought the urge to bring it up.

The blonde nodded, slumping on his shoulders. "I'd hate to be the one corrupting him with this kinda stuff, ya' know..."

Yami sighed. "Exactly my sentiment..."

The two spent some moment to study the years-old coke stain on Jounouchi's bed sheet.

-

Yami stood in front of Anzu's house, hesitating. Seeing as the girl seemed to have... feelings for, well, him, it was probably not a good idea to ask her to tell Yugi about the more... graphical aspects of sex for him.

He sighed and turned down Anzu's street back to the main road.

-

Honda was just as much help as Jounouchi had been. Yami had to admit, considering the fact that the duo had once enjoyed bullying his host before they became good friends, their sensitivity on talking about such topics with his other self now was surprising.

"I distinctively recall him once telling me about how you requested him to buy a _porn_ mag for you before..."

Honda had the decency to look embarrassed. "Ah... well, we're all healthy young men, aren't we..."

Yami just gave him a _look._

"I... I suppose I could _lend_ you a few of my personal collection-"

"Ra forbid!" Yami wasn't sure to be more horrified at the thought of his host learning things though dirty magazines or the fact that Honda had a personal collection of them.

The brunette sighed. "I thought so..."

Yami sighed again. He was slowly being driven to his wits' end...

-

For a fleeting moment, Yami amused himself with the sort of reaction a certain brown-haired, ice-blue-eyed, trench coat-wearing-redefined CEO of a major gaming company would give if he had gone up to him and said, "I need you to tell my other me about sex."

But no.

Seto Kaiba was _not_ an option.

-

Which leaves the Yami with one only other option, really.

Their white-haired, quiet, effeminate friend.

Yami doubted if Ryou was the type to know about the sort of things he had to ask. If ever, the boy could possibly be just as clueless, but you can never underestimate the quiet ones. The boy shared physical space with a tomb robber with rather... unsavory attitudes, as far as Yami could see, after all...

It was worth a shot, at any rate.

-

Ryou nearly sprayed water all over Yami's (actually, Yugi's) shirt. "W-_What?!_"

"I need you. To talk to my host. About sex." No point beating about the bush.

Ryou just stared at him, and decided he needed another gulp of water.

Yami waited patiently before going to the _best_ part of the conversation. When Ryou seemed to have regained a bit of his composure, he said, "But no, I'm not talking about how babies are made, not that talk. My host has had the talk since he hit puberty. Now he's asking about _other_ things."

The white-haired boy eyed him suspiciously. "What _other_ things?" He asked cautiously, bringing the water glass to his lips again.

"The graphics, Bakura. Details. Not "what goes where" but rather "how does one go about putting that there". Positions Fetishes. Kinks. Bondage; how and why. Sadism and masochism; how and why. Gay sex; how and-well, mainly just how."

This time, the water really did fly out of the albino's mouth.

-

/Um, mou hitori no boku?/

/Yes, aibou?/

/...Where exactly are we going?/

/...Remember the questions you asked me last week?/

/About maths?/

/...Um, no./

/Eh?/

/I meant those _other_ questions./

/Ah! Um... yeah... um, what about them?/

/Well, I've decided that there's someone else who can explain things better for you./

/Eeeeh? But-but- can't _you_ just-/

/Now, there's no need to be shy, aibou. He _is_ your friend, and I'm sure he would be more than willing to... share his education./

/Um./

/Ah, I believe we've arrived./

/...Mou hitori no boku?/

/Yes?/

/...Isn't this Bakura-kun's apartment?/

-

Yami recalled the rest of the conversation he had with Ryou Bakura the day before. It had surprised him very much initially when, after getting over with the whole situation, the albino actually said yes.

"Come again?" Yami asked, not very certain of what he heard.

Ryou bit his lower lip. "Um, well, yes; I'll talk to him about it."

"...This isn't about the kind of stuff sex education campaigns would tell kids in school, you know..."

Ryou looked the slightest disturbed, but was otherwise quite calm. Yami wondered if he really knew what he was trying to ask, but the boy merely nodded, "Yes, I'm aware."

"Ah... Just checking."

"Weird sexual fetishes and why some people have them, right? And about gay sex."

"You don't have to give him too many examples, really," the Yami said hurriedly.

Ryou smiled. "Understood."

"Or tell him too much about bondage. It's not healthy."

"Duly noted."

"Or the gay sex stuff either."

"Yes, sir." The tone was the slightest teasing.

It took Yami all he had to not bear-hug the boy right then and there. There wasn't much for conversation after that, and right before he left the apartment, he remembered something extremely important.

"And under _no_ circumstances must that meddlesome Sennen Ring spirit you carry _ever_ say a word to my host about this topic."

A strange look crossed Ryou's face. "Y-Yes, of course..."

"...Thank you, Bakura. I appreciate this; if you ever need my help, I'd be more than willing to assist you. I apologize for the trouble as well."

Ryou smiled again. The boy really looked gentle when he did. "It's no problem, really. Yugi's my friend; you are, too. And Yugi's..."

"What is it?"

"He's really lucky to have you for a... an aibou."

Yami didn't think he imagined the wistful look on the albino's face at that moment.

-

It started out unsurprisingly awkward at first. After spending about half an hour talking about school, homework, the weather, and Jounouchi's latest antic that landed him in detention again that day, the boys slowly warmed up for the real reason of Yugi's visit.

Ryou decided he should make a start, as Yugi seemed to find his glass of milk the most fascinating object in the white-haired boy's apartment. "Well, Yugi-kun, you seemed to have something you wanted to ask me about when you arrived just now. I'm sure you're not here to talk about Jounouchi-kun's detention, are you?"

Yugi shook his head, still working steadfastly at being a milk glass expert. "It's... um, it's kind of... " Suddenly, the boy shot to his feet. "Actually, I think I remember an errand grandpa wanted me to run! Sorry, Bakura-kun, maybe next-"

Ryou had lunged forward fast enough to grab Yugi by his backpack before the boy could move towards the front door. A promise was a promise after all, and he was set to talk about it already. "Yugi-kun!"

"...Uh-oh."

-

After the initial fumble, the conversation took on a smoother turn. With a bit of cajoling from Yami, Yugi had finally opened up to his friend. Once he started, it wasn't too difficult to plough on with the rest.

To his credit, Ryou had to admit that his school teacher, who once said he'd make a good teacher himself because of his infinite patience, wasn't joking when he said that. He seemed to have a knack for explaining the awkward subject in a less-awkward technical angle while still managing to keep the other boy satisfied with his answers.

It did lead to some rather interesting lines of dialogue, though.

-

"...And that actually makes some people... aroused?"

"Well... I suppose that is why it's more a _fetish_ than normality... Most people aren't like that, but then, most people wouldn't admit even if they were."

"Oh. I suppose you wouldn't like it if your friends thought you were weird because you like that kinda stuff, huh?"

_You have no idea, Yugi-kun_... Ryou thought silently.

-

Yugi blinked, taking in Ryou's words slowly. "So this hormone... when you're in pain, it's kinda similar to the one released when... when you orgasm?"

"That's about right, yes. It's just a rumor, though, I really have no clue if it's true, but it would certainly explain why some people like... getting hurt."

"Oh, yeah, it does. Kinda."

"..."

"...Bakura-kun?"

"Hmmm?"

"...What's orgasm?"

-

"...Why would anyone _enjoy_ making the person he likes feel pain? It doesn't make any sense!"

"I don't know... I wonder sometimes..." Ryou answered in an even tone, his voice fading out a bit at the end, as though recalling something.

"Bakura-kun? Are you alright?"

Ryou blinked. "Uh, yes. Yes, I'm fine."

-

"Eeeew, no way! You mean- it goes up _there-_" Yugi left it hanging, bug-eyed, one thumb slowly motioning over his shoulder to indicate his behind.

Ryou nodded, amused.

Yugi grimaced. "Ew, just ew..."

"Those guys probably don't share the same thought about it, though..."

Yugi just stared at him incredulously. "But up the- the- EEEW."

Though his smile remained, Ryou's eyes clouded over a little.

-

"Bakura-kun, stop. Too much information."

-

"Thanks a lot, Bakura-kun!"

"Pleasure is mine, Yugi-kun."

The two boys beamed at each other at Ryou's doorway.

"Promise not to tell the rest about this!"

"Hai, hai."

"And, Bakura-kun..."

"Hai?"

"...Just curious but... you're not all that much older than me and I know you're not a pervert like Jou-kun and Honda-kun sometimes are, so... how do you know so much about these stuff?"

Ryou's smile faltered a little.

"I mean, it's okay if you don't wanna tell me," the shorter boy said hurriedly, somehow sensing that Ryou wasn't comfortable with answering. "Maybe I'm just dumb or something to not know, eh."

"It's alright, Yugi-kun," Ryou assured him, but there was a strain in his voice. "I... I just read a lot, that's all. Some, I picked up on my own, from books, I mean, and some, I looked it up, like you did."

"Who did you ask?" Yugi blurted before thinking. Then he went sheepish. "Oh, right, you read about it. Stupid question. Sorry!"

Ryou swallowed, and smiled weakly. "It's alright."

"Guess I'll be going then... see you school tomorrow. And thanks again!"

Ryou watched Yugi until the boy disappeared from view down the flight of stairs. He shut and bolted his front door, moved straight into his bedroom without turning on the lights, and sank face-down into the pillows. Not a moment too soon, he felt a too-familiar tugging sensation in the back of his head and the world around him dissolved as he was pulled into his Soul Room.

-

/I'd say that talk was handled quite well, don't you think, aibou?/

/Oh, definitely! Bakura-kun's really nice to talk about it with me!/

/Who would've guessed he would know so much about it.../

/You know, mou hitori no boku... I really do wonder how Bakura-kun knew all that stuff. I can't imagine him watching those videos that Jou-kun and Honda-kun does!/

/Well, he certainly doesn't seem the type for that sort of thing./

/But he didn't look too keen to tell me about the books he read, ne.../

/...Some of his mannerisms were a little off now and then... do you suppose he has some issues at hand, aibou?/

/I don't know... Bakura-kun rarely talks about personal stuff. Maybe it's just me, though. I can't imagine if any of those weird stuff Bakura-kun told me about could actually happen to anyone I know, ne.../

/Well, it's highly improbable, but not entirely impossible.../

/Uh-hmmm.../

The conversation did not really lead to anywhere, however, and after a moment of silence, his host abruptly changed the subject to mention about the new shipment of Duel Monster cards his grandfather should have received that afternoon and if he'd be able to stock up some new monster cards. In the crevices of his mind, Yami recalled their albino friend's last words in his first visit.

He suddenly wondered how the boy was handling with his Yami.

-

"Well-versed in the knowledge of nightly passions, aren't we, yadonushi?"

Ryou nearly jumped ten feet into the air, even though he was expecting it.

His Yami approached him, his steps taken in a lazy gait. Here, in the shared space of their minds that connected their Soul Rooms, the presence of the spirit was made all-too-real. "Why the shock, yadonushi? Did you not miss me?"

Ryou returned the gaze of his counterpart as the spirit paused on his tracks in front of him, his eyes half-lidded, resigned. "I suppose you're proud of me."

A smirk graced the tomb robber's lips. He lifted a finger and ghosted it over his vessel's pale cheek. "Of course; it assures me that you have been paying attention."

"How can I _not_..." Ryou broke the gaze, casting his eyes downward, a tingle going down his spine from the contact.

"I particularly liked the part when you explained about sadism. _I don't know, I wonder sometimes._ Oh, but you _do _know, don't you."

Ryou remained mute.

"I'm not so flattered as to be referred to as a 'book', however."

In a surge of boldness, Ryou blurted, "I can't exactly tell him the truth!"

The fingers gripped his chin and tilted it upwards so that brown eyes met blood-red ones again. Ryou shut his eyes and shuddered involuntarily. He felt, rather than saw, the smirk on the Yami's face going wider as he felt, once again, rather than heard, the words breathed so close to his lips,

"I suppose now is the time to... ah, continue with your _education_. After all, we should prepare for the next time your little friend has more questions to ask, now, shouldn't we."

-

There comes a time when a boy reaches an age where extensive knowledge of the bird and the bees became the most important facts in his life.

But sometimes, Ryou felt that he knew too much.

-END-

Author's note:

This was totally inspired by an actual conversation I had in a car one day where a friend asked about some of the topics in here and my other friend and I were pushing each other to do the explaining XD

And to Yami/Yugi fans: Yugi has a loooong way to go XD


End file.
